Paige started her last year of preschool yesterday! She looks so big! She has the sweetest teacher and half of the class is her neighborhood friends! She will begin kindergarten next year with at least 10 other kids in our neighborhood....there are probably a few more I am missing but that is fun to have all those kids her same age! About half are girls and half are boys..not bad. Our neighborhood is so full of kids...we just love it! :) We are so blessed with where we live. I look around my life and I see that the Lord has blessed me in so many ways. I have an amazing husband, wonderful friends, beautiful children, a beautiful home and I know that the Lord is the reason. On Sunday I was at Fast and testimony meeting and Emma asked me to take her up to bear her testimony. Now, if you attend a mormon church you know that if you take your child up there you also have to bear your testimony. I deflected her to Shad saying that I had taken her up the previous month. She asked him and he said no. Then she asked Kenzie who also said no. Now she started asking our friends kids that were sitting behind her, they said no. She then told me she knew what to say all by herself and told me what she would say. I said, then you don't need anyone to go with you, you can do it yourself. She did and she did a great job. This whole thing made me start to think.....I did get up. I told her publicly how sorry I was for not jumping at the opportunity to share my testimony with her and did so. I also relayed that I have been thinking that things are so hard, money and etc... I am trying so hard to do what He has asked me to do but everything is hard and I was talking to my Mom about this and she told me that it was this hard because I am doing the right thing.....It is interesting, we have six children, and we live in Utah, where big families are supposed to be "fashionable"

We get looks everywhere we go, we get people that physically count us or are bold enough to ask, are those all yours? It makes me sad that I get thoughts in my head to be defensive about how many children I have that are not thoughts I want to have. Every one of our children is a blessing and I should be proud to have such a large family. I AM proud to have all these beautiful girls in my life. They are a blessing. My life is so blessed and I need to always remember that. Sorry about all this but this is kinda my journal so I wanted to write that all out...If you were sleeping you can wake up now :) I am done going on!