Girls, girls, girls...

It's all I think about really. And why? Well, that's self explanatory. Recently though I've really been pondering being the Mother of all these girls. My oldest is 14.5 now and my youngest will, very soon, be 5 and then there's all these others in between. I don't get why these girls have to be so mean to one another. I mean, when I was in school it was rough, but these days it's a lot more than rough. It's viscous and it's pointless. Why do girls single other girls out to dislike? And if they don't like each other, why does that mean they must seek and destroy the "unliked." My own daughter has been the target of this so many times throughout her years and it makes my heart hurt. Girls(and even boys) are committing suicide over it. It's no small potatoes.

I will face this 6 times. That's a lot. Luckily each child handles the drama differently. My oldest daughter is very sensitive but my next oldest doesn't seem to be as sensitive so I am hopeful that we will get through it easier. If you're a Mom of girls I say, unequivocally, read the book Queen Bees and Wannabees by Rosalind Wiseman. It is an eye opening book that explains a lot in terms that you can actually understand about why and how this happens to these girls. I read it several years ago and think I should probably re-read it now. One thing that I used to think was how mean the girls were and personalize it to certain girls, but after reading this book I discovered that they are all really in the same boat and clinging desperately so they are not the ones being ignored/ostracized/left out. They aren't really (for the most part)wanting to hurt the other girl they just don't want to be hurt themselves. That's understandable.

But that being said, it's hard to watch your child suffer, especially deeply inside of themselves, questioning whether they are good looking, smart, worth something etc. It tears a little piece of you out every day and I wish so much there was something I could do to make it easier, to make these girls understand that they don't have to be the way they see everyone else being. The best I can do is try to instill in my girls that they are amazing and wonderful just the way they are. I hope and pray that I am doing that. It's so important. If you're a Mom (or Dad) of girls, please read this book. You'll be glad you did. And girls...please be kind, one day you'll be able to hold your head high knowing that you didn't bring anyone else down.